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him the one thing that meant the most.
He leaned over the hearth and buried his face in his arms, crying for the boy of his dreams who had
tried to so hard to protect Devlin from the nightmare that had now become his life.
Chapter Fourteen
 Irreparable Hearts
 You and Gabe are okay with staying with her at the apartment until Abel gets back? Max asked.  Or
until we figure out what Abel wants to do?
 Yeah. Cole nodded.  It's no problem. Gabe gave a single nod of agreement.
 You got her clothes and stuff?
 Uh huh.
Max sighed,  All right then. I guess we should get down there. Dr. Jacobs wanted to speak with us
about getting Savannah set up with the referral doctor.
 Can I go with you?
Standing at the far end of the bar, Max, Gabe and Cole spun around quickly. Cole's heart leaped into
his throat then went crazy as he found himself staring at Abel's beautiful face. The boy had only been
gone over the weekend, yet it had felt like an eternity.  Abel? Cole breathed then broke into a swift
stride and swept him into his arms, squeezing him tight.
 Okay. Abel croaked.  You're squashing me.
Cole laughed and released him, but he was then grabbed up by Gabe who hugged him just as fiercely.
 Thought you'd left us for good. Gabe murmured with a notable strain to his voice. When he let loose
and Abel could breathe again, he smiled, but there was a waver to it that unnerved Cole; was he back
for good...or back to pick up Savannah and take her with him?
Noticing Kaplan, Cole wasn't sure what to feel. Clearly the man had been taking care of Abel. Except
for the pain in his eyes that had been there when he'd left, the boy looked good. All decked out in his
expensive clothes and what appeared to be a fresh haircut, one would never guess he made a living as
a stripper.
 Did you just get back? Cole asked, his emotions trying to run wild, but he held them in check.
 Yeah. Abel nodded.  I was hoping you hadn't left for the hospital yet.
 Savannah's gonna freak. Gabe grinned.  She's been missing you like crazy.
 I know. Abel's lips pressed tight.  I've missed her too.
Max cleared his throat then stepped forward and finally hugged the boy as well.  It's good to have
you home. he said quietly, sincerely, then glanced at Kaplan and smiled,  I trust Horatio has
been...spoiling you rotten? He drew back.
Kaplan laughed softly and rubbed his mouth as Abel turned and glanced at him.  Yeah. Abel smiled.
 Something like that.
Watching Kaplan, Cole couldn't deny the way the man's eyes lingered on Abel, occasionally jumping
to Max. There seemed to be a storm of emotions roiling inside the man.
 Well, that's good. Max flashed an unusually soft smile at Kaplan that ignited a deep longing in the
man's eyes. Cole had no clue what that was all about and figured it wasn't his business. Abel was
back  for now  and that's all that matter at this point in time.
***
 I contacted Dr. Ryland. Savannah will meet with him in a couple days.
Jacob's words sounded distant, fuzzy, as Devlin walked beside him down the corridor. His head felt
thick, heavy, as if full of gravel grating against his skull. Sometime during the night, he had finally
made his way back to bed and collapsed in unconsciousness. He hadn't felt any better when he awoke
this morning. Somehow he'd managed to adopt the proper 'I feel fine' appearance, but he didn't feel
fine. Wondered, in fact, if he would ever feel fine again.
His shoes seemed coated in lead, each step an effort, feeling as if Savannah's departure was the end
of something he wasn't ready to let go of. His stomach hurt and his heart felt dislodged and detached,
floating inside him, shattered into tiny, sharp fragments that continued to cut at him. Had it not been
the day of Savannah's release, he would have called in  dead  sick. But she expected him to be
there, and he couldn't disappoint her regardless how much it hurt.
Jacobs shoved open the door to Savannah's room and entered. Devlin stepped in behind him  and
froze. Feet rooting to the floor, all the broken pieces of his heart sucked down by gravity and crashing
together. Those much longed for amber eyes were suddenly gripping his stare, but he couldn't look,
couldn't gaze into those golden depths and see what he had done.
His breath abandoned him, lungs burning, about to collapse. He gripped the door as the occupants of
the room began to blur and shimmer before him.  Ex-excuse me. he whispered shakily to Jacobs.
 I...forgot something... he backed out of the room quickly and hurried down the corridor, legs barely
holding him up. I can't do this. I can't. It hurts too much. Oh god...it hurts so much.
He reached for the elevator button, shaking badly, dizziness overtaking him.
 If you walk away now...it will be the biggest mistake of your life.
Devlin gasped, his head snapping around. He didn't recognize the man, but knew by his mere
wardrobe that he was the infamous Kaplan.
***
All it took was a look. Just one. And every memory of him and Devlin came rushing back  every
touch, kiss, whisper. How it felt to be held tight in the man's arms, made love to in a way he had
never experienced before, or since. His time with Cole and Gabe, and even Kaplan, had been
wonderful...but none of them were Devlin.
The tears were burning, rising, and he fought them furiously, losing the battle even before he began as
everything became real all at once and crashed down on him. Cole's arms went around him and he
drew him away to the far side of the room, holding him tight. Abel clung to him, face pressed hard
into the man's shoulder to muffle his cries.  It's gonna be okay. Cole whispered, squeezing him tight.
 I can't...do this, Cole. he choked, his strength draining, sagging against the man.  Any of it.
Savannah...Devlin...I can't handle it...I can't...
 Come with me. Cole led him towards the door. Gabe and Max looked at him with concerned but he
just waved them off.
 Abel? Savannah's voice thickened with tears.
 It's all right, sweetheart. Gabe moved to her side.  Don't worry about Abel. He's gonna be okay.
Cole took him out of the room, and Abel broke, crying. Fear and panic overwhelmed him as the
magnitude of Savannah's condition hit him, along with the anguish of losing Devlin. He didn't want to
be here. He wanted to go back to Italy, to that other world where the pain in this one couldn't touch
him.
 Easy, baby. Cole murmured, holding him on his feet.  Just let it out, it's okay. Let it go. Cole
rubbed his back soothingly and kissed his hair.  You're going to be fine, Abel. I promise. You're not
alone in this. We're all here for you, every step of the way.
Down from Savannah's door were a few chairs situated against the wall and Cole walked him over so
he could sit. He leaned forward on his knees and dropped his head in his hands, chest catching with
sobs. Cole rubbed his back and stroked his hair.
 I'm so...tired, Cole. he choked.  I'm tired of...being alive. Everything about life...it hurts. he shook
his head, body shaking as he tried to swallow past his tears.  It always will. I hate it. his breath
shuddered.  You know...at the orphanage...every time after Craig would... he faltered, throat
working.  I would sit in the shower...with a razor...wanting so bad to just do it, end it all, just...make
it stop. Cole pulled him against him and he cried against his neck.  I couldn't tell anyone. He said if I
told...he would hurt Savannah...that he would...do to her what he was doing to me.
 That's over now. Cole whispered against his hair.  He's gone. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]