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him even more. He lay down beside Zac and insinuated his thigh between Zac s legs.
 I love you. I ve told you that, right? Jakob asked.
 Yes.
 Do you think if your scars disgusted me I d still be here with you now? He wished he
was better with words. They d just never come easy to him.
 Guess not.
Jakob rolled them until he was on top of Zac, able to see his lover s entire face. He
leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Zac s mouth.  I hate that you believe the scars
matter to me. Don t get me wrong. I wish you didn t have them, but more for your sake than
mine.
When Zac didn t say anything, Jakob tried again.
 Dammit. You could ve died. I ve thanked God every single day since it happened that
he spared you, because I need you. Me. And I don t give a fuck about a couple of scars. Not
when I can lay here and wrap my arms around you.
Tears filled Zac s eyes.  You re too good for me, he whispered.  And I m not saying
that to get another compliment. I really mean it. You only know the parts of me I ve let
people see. I try to keep the ugliest parts of myself buried deep inside.
SCARRED Carol Lynne
46
The severity of the discussion cooled Jakob s ardour. Zac was finally opening up to him,
and there was no way Jakob would miss a second of it.  So tell me some of your secrets?
 I drove my mom away, Zac said.
Jakob knew Zac s mom had run off when Zac was only around ten.  All kids think that
when something happens between their parents.
 No. I mean it. She told me so.
Horrified, Jakob shook his head.  When?
Zac s brows drew together.  What do you mean when? She told me before she left. Said
I was a disgusting little faggot, and the Lord would send me to hell, so why should she invest
her time in me.
Jakob climbed off Zac and sat up.  Wait a minute. I thought you were ten when she
left?
 I was.
 She accused you of being gay when you were ten? Jakob couldn t imagine. Hell, he d
still been playing with trucks at that age, not with other boys, at least not in a sexual way.
Zac nodded.  I guess I didn t know I was supposed to hide it. I used to talk about the
cute boys at school when I was with my dad. I figured if Dad didn t have a problem, my
mom wouldn t either, but I was wrong. She also caught me wearing her shoes one day. That
was the proverbial straw that broke the camel s back. I wasn t planning to go anywhere in
them. I just wanted to see what they felt like. I was curious, but she didn t see it that way.
Jakob didn t have the best relationship with his own folks, but that was more because of
his twin s death than his sexuality. Instead of telling Zac exactly what he thought of his
mother, Jakob decided to focus on the positives.
 You were damn lucky you had such an understanding dad. Just think of all the adults
who still haven t worked up the courage to be honest with themselves or their families. The
fact that you were allowed to be yourself at such a young age is huge, and a testament to
your dad.
 I know. I definitely couldn t have asked for a better dad.
 So you ve had what, twenty-two years or so to think about it? Can t you see it was a
problem with her, not you?
Instead of answering, Zac sat up and crawled into Jakob s lap.  Now that I ve told you
that, can we fuck?
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47
Jakob wanted more answers, but it was clear the subject was closed for the time being.
He wrapped his arms around Zac, deciding to live in the moment until his lover felt
comfortable enough to open up again. He ran his hands down Zac s back to cup his ass.
 Have I ever told you how much I love this ass?
 I can t recall. Why don t you tell me again?
Jakob s middle finger slid down Zac s crack and across his hole, stopping for an extra
rub of the puckered skin.  I d rather show you.
Zac bit his bottom lip before finally bursting out in laughter.  God you can be a cheese
ball sometimes.
Waiting for Zac to stop laughing, Jakob busied himself pulling the supplies out of the
bag. He hadn t tried to make a joke or be a cheese ball as Zac had accused. He d simply
wanted Zac to know how much he wanted him. Stop it, he admonished himself. Zac was
finally laughing, even if it was at Jakob s expense.
He waited for Zac to settle down before attempting to once again engage the man in the
moment. Slowly, Zac s laughter began to die off. Jakob tried to concentrate on the naked man
in his arms. Even though his feelings had been hurt, they were no match for his desire. He
resettled Zac on his lap and dripped some lube onto his fingers.
Zac rested his forehead on Jakob s shoulder, suddenly quiet as Jakob began to massage
his hole.  Sorry about that. I don t get the giggles often, but when I do it tends to last a
while.
 You re right. I haven t heard you laugh that much since before&  Dammit! Why
couldn t he keep his mouth shut?
 I know. But maybe things are starting to change, Zac said.
Jakob breeched Zac s hole with his middle finger, letting the digit slide deep. The need
to fuck Zac almost succeeded in overriding his self-control. It would be their first time alone.
A quick fuck wasn t what he wanted Zac to remember.
Jakob removed his finger, as he nodded towards the centre of the sleeping bag.  I want
to do this right.
Zac lay down and put his right arm over his head to rest against his damaged cheek.
Despite Jakob s attempt to make his lover more at ease, it was obvious Zac was still ashamed.
Jakob started to protest but decided to give Zac the security blanket he apparently needed.
With any luck things would begin to change once Zac became comfortable with Jakob again.
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48
With Zac spread out beside him, Jakob rolled to his side and ran his palm across the
smooth, lightly furred chest. He leant down for a kiss while his fingers pinched at both of
Zac s nipples.
Although they were in the shade, the heat of the warm July day made Zac s body
irresistible. Jakob s hand travelled down to rest in the patch of short hair surrounding Zac s
cock. His thumb slid across the crown, catching the pre-cum as it leaked from Zac s cock.
Breaking the kiss, Jakob stared into Zac s eyes.  I need to taste you.
Zac nodded his head enthusiastically and spread his legs to accommodate Jakob s wide
shoulders.  I m yours, he whispered.
As Jakob took the head of Zac s cock into his mouth he prayed Zac s statement was the
truth. Nothing in his life had prepared him for the depths of his emotions. Love was certainly
one of them, but it went beyond that. A day didn t go by when Jakob wasn t afraid or
worried for his lover. The need to see Zac well again surpassed any personal goals Jakob had
set up for his own life and future.
Each swirl of Jakob s tongue elicited a moan from Zac. He reached blindly for the lube
as he continued to stroke Zac s cock and feast on the slippery pre-cum. With his fingers slick
once again, Jakob returned his attention to Zac s hole.
 Yessss! Zac hissed at the invasion.  More.
Jakob obliged and pressed two fingers into the heated depths of Zac s body. Zac jerked
when Jakob rubbed across his prostate. Jakob backed off Zac s cock enough to enjoy what he
was sure was about to spill into his mouth. He wasn t disappointed as several seconds later,
Zac climaxed, bathing Jakob s tongue and throat in thick cum.
Swallowing as fast as he could, Jakob managed to enjoy every drop. He introduced a
third finger into Zac s hole as he released the cock in his mouth and nuzzled the large set of
balls.
Zac wound his fingers into Jakob s hair and tilted his head up, away from his sac.  Fuck
me.
Although the words weren t quite what Jakob wanted to hear, the emotion in Zac s
gaze seemed real. Show him the difference between fucking and making love, Jakob told himself. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]