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and I ll go on living. Maybe eventually you ll come to some kind of decision, but in the
meantime, maybe it would be best if we don t see each other outside of work.
Rance chuckled in a bitter fashion.  You re sure quick to change your tune when things
don t go your way.
Rance pulled into the Back Breaker and parked his truck. Bo tried to calm himself
before saying something he d regret later on.
 Quick? That s rich. I ve been in love with you for a year and you know it. I ve done the
patient thing. I can t afford to put my life on hold indefinitely while you figure out whether
or not I m worthy.
When Rance didn t say anything right away, Bo grunted and got out. Walking towards
the bunkhouse, he felt like he d been sucker punched. Fuck it. He was tired of feeling like shit
because of Rance.
EYE OF THE BEHOLDER Carol Lynne
65
* * * *
Rance punched the pillow, changing positions once again. When it was obvious he
wasn t getting to sleep anytime soon, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and shuffled
towards the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer.
He knew he d screwed things up. He should ve been honest and told Bo what was on
his mind. Carrying the beer back to bed, Rance turned on the television.
A commercial for Montana tourism caught his eye. It depicted a father and son fishing
and talked about slowing down and taking the time to enjoy family.  Damn, it s a
conspiracy, he mumbled, shutting off the TV.
Rance knew his strange mood had given Bo ideas that weren t at all accurate, but what
should he do about it? To confess that he was actually trying to decide whether or not to ask
Bo and the baby to move in would leave him out on a limb. It wasn t that he didn t think the
two of them could live together, but cohabitating would also mean Bo would see him naked.
He finished his beer and set the empty bottle on the bedside table. Sliding back under
the sheet, he thought about the torture Bo had put him through over the previous year. How
many times had he wanted Bo in his bed? Too many times to count.
As the months had gone by and his feelings for the bohemian farmer had grown
deeper, he d made himself keep his distance. After the previous night s passion, it was
obvious Bo would accept Rance s physical deformities, but was he ready to expose himself?
In a rare move, Rance slid his hand down to his groin. He d made a habit of sleeping in
pyjama pants after the shooting to keep even himself from accidentally seeing his ruined
cock.
As he ran his hand over the scarred, lumpy flesh he became hard. Rance tried to
imagine what Bo would feel if he did the same. Would Bo know rubbing the scars gave
Rance another level of excitement, that the ridges of tissue were more sensitive?
Rance shook his head and released his cock. What did it matter? He d probably fucked
things between them anyway. Tossing back the sheet, Rance got to his feet. Maybe if I explain
myself Bo will cut me some slack?
EYE OF THE BEHOLDER Carol Lynne
66
He was almost to the front door when he realised the time. Maybe it would be best to at
least wait until after breakfast. One thing was certain. He wanted Bo and Joey in his life.
What difference could a few hours make?
* * * *
With new resolve, Rance walked towards the bunkhouse, hoping to talk to Bo before he
started his day. A car pulling up beside his truck caught his attention however.
 Hey, what s up? Rance asked Lark.
Lark settled the baseball cap on his head and withdrew a cooler from the back seat.
 Just got back from taking Bo to the airport. He decided to fly up to Canada to get Joey
instead of waiting for my folks to bring him here. Hope you don t mind, but he asked me to
fill in while he s gone.
Rance s heart sunk.  How long will he be gone?
Lark shrugged.  It s Bo. Who knows.
Lark started to walk off but stopped and turned to Rance.  He seemed pretty
depressed. You wouldn t know anything about that, would you?
Without answering, Rance strode towards his office in the barn. He d heard too much
about Sunrise Gardens to feel comfortable with Bo s unplanned trip. Maybe he should hop
on a plane and go after him?
Walking into his office, he was almost run over by Shep.
 It s about time you got here. We re gonna be late.
 Huh? Rance asked.
 We ve got the meeting in town with the Cattle Valley Days committee, Shep
reminded him.
Shit, how could he have forgotten they were supposed to present their choices for the
rodeo bulls?  Okay, let me grab the stock files.
 I ll be in the truck.
As Rance pawed through the stack of files on his shelf, he forced himself to get his head
back into foreman mode. It wouldn t do to have a love-sick cowboy presenting to the
committee.
EYE OF THE BEHOLDER Carol Lynne
67
Information in hand, Rance jogged towards Shep s pickup.  Sorry about that.
Shep pulled out of the drive and headed into town.  Do I need to even ask how your
date went?
 Probably not, Rance mumbled.
 Have anything to do with why I may have lost a damn good farmer?
The file dropped to the floor of the truck as his heart skipped a beat.  What do you
mean by that? I thought Bo just went to Canada to get Joey.
Shep seemed to study Rance for a few moments before answering.  All I know is he left
a message on my cell phone saying he had to go. He said he hoped his job would be here
when he got back, but he d understand if I needed to hire a fulltime replacement before he
returned.
Rance s head fell back against the seat.  I ve really fucked stuff up, huh?
 Wanna talk about it?
 Not sure it ll do any good. We& um& got close on the overnight trip.
 Yeah, I figured that when I saw the two shredded sleeping bags zipped together. So
what went wrong?
 Nothing, Rance was quick to say, but the more he thought about it, the more
depressed he became.  Everything.
 Well I know he didn t reject you. That wouldn t be something Bo had in him.
 No, he didn t reject me. He was wonderful when I told him what happened. I just
wasn t ready to expose myself to him. I asked him to be patient, he agreed.
 So what s the problem?
 Me. I started thinking, and I wanted to ask him and Joey to move in, but I got cold feet.
We both know I tend to withdraw and clam up when that happens. I think Bo took it wrong
though. By the end of our date, he was pissed and rightly so.
Shep pulled the truck to a stop in front of City Hall.  So what re you gonna do about
it?
 Wait for him to come back and beg for forgiveness? Rance offered.
 Sure, if you want to put the fate of your relationship in someone else s hands. But as an
alternative plan, why not go after him?
Before Rance could fully think about it, Nate stepped out of the building.
EYE OF THE BEHOLDER Carol Lynne
68
 You coming? Nate yelled.
Rance bent over and gathered the fallen file.  I ll give it some thought.
Shep joined Rance at the bottom of the steps.  Don t think too long. Bo s got more than
just his own heart to worry about now. I imagine if he s worried about your feelings, he
won t be in a hurry to put Joey in that situation.
Rance knew Shep was right, but he didn t have time to think about it just then. He
followed his boss into the meeting room and took a seat. Expecting a smart-assed remark
from Carol on their tardiness, Rance was surprised when it didn t come.
The woman across the table from him seemed to have her own problems to deal with.
Several times during the first ten minutes, her focus seemed to be more on her cell phone
than the meeting. Rance didn t know what the text messages said, but with each one she
seemed to become more uptight.
After an hour s discussion of the rodeo events, they took a short coffee break. Rance
noticed the way Nate led Carol quietly into an adjoining room.
 What do you think that s about? Shep asked from beside him. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]